Friday, February 20, 2009

Totally OT: I need some advice...

This was one helluva day. I have run out of options in dealing with someone who has NO clue how to interact with fellow adults and I'm not picky about who offers advice. As long as I'm carrying a passenger, having a drink is out of the question.

Ever know one of those people who just doesn't know when to walk in step with others, and when to leave it alone? I have one of those as a neighbor. Generally he's a nice guy if you see him walking down the street. But if he gloms on to an idea, he not only can't let go, he's a couple of sandwiches shy of a picnic in his perceived place in it.

I run a little online presence for my neighborhood. Nothing serious, just a little website with logins and a listserv. I'm volunteering my time, expertise, and resources, including server space. Doofus wants to be my "assistant". He has ever since he moved to the neighborhood a couple of years ago.

First, he wants to host the site on his server. Source code and server are incompatable.

Second, he wants to be the Moral Majority of the neighborhood and dictate what the adults can or cannot post to the private listserv. Fughedabouddit - I'm not exiling anyone to a private list for a mere opinion and splitting up the group over different POVs.

Third, every "idea" Doofus has about "improving" our little community-within-a-community is a direct result of his not understanding how it works. Like suggesting that the site be migrated onto a completely different platform (read: rewritten from the ground up) because he doesn't know how to update a section designed for individuals to update. No one else has this problem.

Most recently (last night) I get an email at a business address asking why the email address he is using won't post to the listserv. Answer: because he never requested that the email address be added. And he tried to jump in on some questions someone else had, again with the wrong answer.

What the hell do you do with someone who won't take the hint that his "help" is not helpful? The straightforward approach works only temporarily. When told "I'll let you know if I want your help", he gets his wife to tell me there's "no need to be sensitive".

I'm out of ideas and need some fresh ones. I like getting along with my neighbors and I want the result to be happy humans all around.



  1. Here's a thought YBA. Why not give him something he CAN do. Something to make him feel important. Something that only he handles. Maybe you could come up with something simple and make it appear difficult, so he thinks he's the only one with the brains to tackle it.

    Usually when people are like this guy, once you stroke them and make them feel all puffed up, they are happy.

  2. I'm thinking about that. In fact I happen to know the community treasurer is looking for help....

    Not exactly what you were suggesting, but who knows? Maybe our money guy has some busy work for him.