"One Ass Grab Too Many"

The inspiration for the latest brainstorm came from here, and here.
A shout out to all of the fans who have to settle for less interaction because a few take their enthusiasm too far.

With apologies to Sir Andrew Lloyd Webber.

To the tune of "One Rock n Roll Too Many" from Starlight Express.
(See post below for a video of the song if it isn't ringing a bell.)

One ass grab too many
Some are just too rude
A few don't know when to stop
So the rest suffer too

Some get too excited
Stalkers uptight
Security's on alert
And there's no dance tonight
One ass grab too many
Takes its toll on us too

One ass grab too many
Tempo's looking small
Some couldn't mind their own biz
So they put up a new wall

The stalkers all swarm, all sneaking a peek
The normal fans just want to sip drinks in peace
One ass grab too many
Takes its toll on us too

One ass grab too many
Don't wanna hear no more
What is it now?
Bring back the leather pants
Stop it already!
He's in the casino
Quick get a picture
Give him a break!
It's my 4th Platinum
"What, you again???"

One ass grab too many
Takes its toll on us too

"Clive Finds the Songs"

The following is what happens when my other half gets a wild hair up his ass and goes into "Comedian Mode". Believe it or not, he was as sober as a judge when he wrote this.

He doesn't know it's getting posted here because...ah, well....er.....he sorta....doesn't know that I have this blog. Or a page on My Manilow Network. So SHHHH!!!

With much love and many apologies to Barry and the crew.
To my friends who work at Sony/BMG - delete now. You didn't see this, you're not involved.

Clive Finds the Songs
(to the tune of I Write the Songs)

Clive's been alive forever
And he sold the very first song
He gave the words and I put the melodies together
I make music
But Clive finds the songs

Clive finds the songs that he wants me to sing
Clive finds the songs that get the Billboard ratings
Clive finds the songs that make the public buy
Clive finds the songs
He finds the songs

My home lies far away from you
And I've got my own place away from crowds
Now when I look out through the bars
I'm glad again, even though I live with two dogs

Clive finds the songs that he wants me to sing
Clive finds the songs that get the Billboard ratings
Clive finds the songs that make the public buy
Clive finds the songs
He finds the songs

Oh I begged that just one time
To make a record that was mine
Paradise Cafe gave me hope I'd write again
But that's not enough
Getting new music out is tough
"Greatest Hits" each ten years
is what he says I should do
"Sing this kid, it's good for you"

Clive finds the songs that he wants me to sing
Clive finds the songs that get the Billboard ratings
Clive finds the songs that make the public buy
Clive finds the songs
He finds the songs

(in the background)
Listen to me Barry
I know the public
Just do what I say

I make music
But Clive finds the songs